Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. - Joseph Barth
I've been wanting to write about my wife for a while now. I feel it is a bit unfair because for it to be as honest and open as i can, i may put out more about her than she would care to have displayed. Like yesterdays post. We spoke about it. I apologized. I'm still a bit unsure why i felt it so necessary to put that out there. Lets hope it all comes together.
I've been wanting to be with my wife for a very long time. We meet in grade four and by grade 5 i liked her. She was bold and strong willed and funny and beautiful. She was able to treat me as equal but still be way more intelligent then me. I was in love.
One would think that a friendship as long as ours (i think its around 14 years... more actually) we would know everything about each other. And we almost do. Its not about knowing each other...its about how much we are going to let ourselves be known by each other. How honest are we going to be with our faults and struggles and problems. And its not that she doesn't know about the faults i have, its can i come to her and admit them myself. Can i trust that she would love me at my worst and then can i accept that love.
Recently i had to own up to a part of our life that i felt i was messing up in. I felt that i was responsible for something and that i blew it badly. I spent weeks totally stressed about having to open up to her and admit that i was wrong. That i wasn't good enough and that i failed. It was horrible.
I think i talked about my sex abilities cause sex is something so personal and vulnerable and honest. its a physical action that should match the honesty i should have with my wife. And i can admit that its tough for me. But there is no one else in the world i would want to be more honest with. And even though I'm not very good at it right now, my wife still loves me, still encourages me.
that's it. I pray that if you are married you've been encouraged to keep being honest and vulnerable with you spouse. and if you aren't married, to make sure you are being as honest as you can with those around you. Especially if you are dating...if you can't have these conversations with your boyfriend/girlfriend, then you need to consider what your relationship is built on.
well, I hope i haven't embarrassed my wife too much! : ) This is hard work, this writing each week. Sorry its so run on. I will get better at this! : )
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Becoming the me that God is changing me into.
3 comments:
that was a really good blog! i think vulnerability at its best... no fluff or jokes to cover up what u wanted to say. very cool. and now im not sooooooo scandalized & hopefully my sister-in-law isn't either ;)
Something I have come to learn in the last two years, I share with you. We are not as alone in our experiences as we might think. Sometimes sharing it makes all the difference, makes it easier to manage... I hope that you'll find this is the case, even if it was personal. Hugs from me to you!
Wow! I really loved this...so true! So true! I do not care what age you are this is wisdom at any age or stage of marriage.re
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