Dear Lord, I need you.
I'm tired and weak and wanting to swear.
My patience is fading and i'm quick to attack, retreat, grow cold and turn away.
There is so much i have to be grateful for but i seem to just be focusing on the wrong.
Lord, thank you that you are in everything.
You are able to make the worst situation into something beautiful.
You are able to take the bad day I had and make it special.
Open my eyes to see you at work in my life.
You are doing things, making me new, turning things around.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Black History Month
A couple of days ago I read a letter from a leader from my church. It was talking about Obama and how its seems people are putting too much hope in one man that really should be placed in God. i was SO offended. I was fuming actually. Okay...specifics, he said that:
I think I look for an offense. I seem to be constantly on the search out for the way someone might offended me. I think there is some anger in me when i think of the injustices done to black people and how, even today, there is still racism and ideas that keep black people down. I also think, i don't know how to deal with it, or talk about it, or change it, so i think i'm fine until i start finding offenses with things i've said myself.
My mom has been hurt by someone who should of been protecting her. And because of their wrong, she suffered even more in life. Yet, she is not offended by them. I have seen my mother reach out time and time again to love and help and bless them. Somehow, she has not let this offense keep her from loving, even to the very person who hurt her so badly.
Black history month has a lesson for everyone. Everyone has been wronged somehow. Everyone has been hurt but someone who was supposed to protect them and love them. One thing black history month highlights is forgiving and not taking offense. To not ignore or excuse when things are wrong but to not hate others even when they do wrong to you. That is not restricited to a black people. I hope that as February and Black History Month come to a close, you think about the offenses you still hold on to and why forgiveness is a first step to saying "free at last".
First, we live in an amazing country. The fact that we can elect Barack Obama as our President is a testament to how far we have come as a nation. Many would say our past of slavery, segregation, and discrimination is further behind us now than ever. While there are still some with grievances, even they must admit that things have changed for the better with the election of President Obama.Later that night, my wife asked me if i read the article on the website. I said I had and she said..."yeah, he's saying the same thing you are." I nearly died. All my anger and offense...i totally had said practically the same thing (grief, i still have a hard time admitting that). A couple of days now and my focus has shifted from yelling at this leader to my taking offense.
I think I look for an offense. I seem to be constantly on the search out for the way someone might offended me. I think there is some anger in me when i think of the injustices done to black people and how, even today, there is still racism and ideas that keep black people down. I also think, i don't know how to deal with it, or talk about it, or change it, so i think i'm fine until i start finding offenses with things i've said myself.
My mom has been hurt by someone who should of been protecting her. And because of their wrong, she suffered even more in life. Yet, she is not offended by them. I have seen my mother reach out time and time again to love and help and bless them. Somehow, she has not let this offense keep her from loving, even to the very person who hurt her so badly.
Black history month has a lesson for everyone. Everyone has been wronged somehow. Everyone has been hurt but someone who was supposed to protect them and love them. One thing black history month highlights is forgiving and not taking offense. To not ignore or excuse when things are wrong but to not hate others even when they do wrong to you. That is not restricited to a black people. I hope that as February and Black History Month come to a close, you think about the offenses you still hold on to and why forgiveness is a first step to saying "free at last".
Love is so easy to share
Writing every Tuesday is so challenging and I love it. The range of emotions that i have to work through to produce one little post is crazy. I have to actually search my heart and examine what is there and what is worth being presented to family, friends and strangers. I guess i could take this thing a whole lot lighter but where would the fun and growth be in that! I hope you are enjoying it as much as i'm learning from doing it. Urgh, i hope i'm not one of thoes totally self-indulgent artists (HAHHAHA, if you could even call my post ART! HA!) that is doing it for personal and selfish reasons without taking into consideration the audience. I hate that! If you feel i'm even getting close to that, please...tell me. Yell at me. Make me stop! Good...now that i have that off my chest...
My heart...what is going on in my heart? Grief, i thought that would be alot easier to answer than it is. I'm not working full-time. I have oodles (what a great word...hardly used!) of free time to think and ponder on the deep inner chambers of my heart and yet still...this cluesness. It has taken me a good hour to get this far in writing and I haven't even hit the heart yet!
I want to wear my heart on my sleeve. I want to love deeply and without reserve. I want to overcome my fear of hurt and rejection to put my heart out to those around me. And i know what will happen. Some people will reject me. Some people may hurt me. and then some people will be challenged to do that same. OH...i get excited even thinking about that. Have you ever been in a group, not just a relationship, where people are trusting each other with their hearts. I guess that's supposed to be your family but really...how often does that happen?!? But in a community where you love unconditionally and trust others with your dreams and hopes and fears. Where you choose to forgive and move on from offenses and give grace when it isn't deserved.
I had the awesome experience of moving in with my friends last year. My wife and I moved in with another couple...and during our year there, my wife gave birth to our child and the other couple got pregnant. My extended family didn't really understand what we were doing. They thought we were crazy and stupid. I had to do a lot of work to translate their remarks into caring concern. I'm glad I didn't listen to them. It was wonderful. Rocky at times but one of the greatest things my wife and I have done since being married. We were forced to not be so "us" focused and to learn how to let people into our marriage and how to live with less space and comfort. And the other couple were great in their view of material possessions. They believed they had things to bless others. So they opened up their house all the time. They lent out their car, gave away money, had people sleep on the couch all the time. I hope my wife and I can become more and more like that.
There's a great song by india.Arie called timeless. Its says:
My heart...what is going on in my heart? Grief, i thought that would be alot easier to answer than it is. I'm not working full-time. I have oodles (what a great word...hardly used!) of free time to think and ponder on the deep inner chambers of my heart and yet still...this cluesness. It has taken me a good hour to get this far in writing and I haven't even hit the heart yet!
I want to wear my heart on my sleeve. I want to love deeply and without reserve. I want to overcome my fear of hurt and rejection to put my heart out to those around me. And i know what will happen. Some people will reject me. Some people may hurt me. and then some people will be challenged to do that same. OH...i get excited even thinking about that. Have you ever been in a group, not just a relationship, where people are trusting each other with their hearts. I guess that's supposed to be your family but really...how often does that happen?!? But in a community where you love unconditionally and trust others with your dreams and hopes and fears. Where you choose to forgive and move on from offenses and give grace when it isn't deserved.
I had the awesome experience of moving in with my friends last year. My wife and I moved in with another couple...and during our year there, my wife gave birth to our child and the other couple got pregnant. My extended family didn't really understand what we were doing. They thought we were crazy and stupid. I had to do a lot of work to translate their remarks into caring concern. I'm glad I didn't listen to them. It was wonderful. Rocky at times but one of the greatest things my wife and I have done since being married. We were forced to not be so "us" focused and to learn how to let people into our marriage and how to live with less space and comfort. And the other couple were great in their view of material possessions. They believed they had things to bless others. So they opened up their house all the time. They lent out their car, gave away money, had people sleep on the couch all the time. I hope my wife and I can become more and more like that.
There's a great song by india.Arie called timeless. Its says:
The clothes that you're wearing, they will one day be out of style. The car that your driving, it will one day max out in miles. Your hair and your make-up and the time that it takes up. It will take the same time to give someone your love. Kindness is timeless. Love is so easy to share. It just takes a moment to show someone you care.As valentiness Day approaches, I hope and pray that you are able to put your life into perspective and start looking at your heart. Total cheese but Lord knows, our families and communities could use a little more love. Why not have it start with you?
Thoughts on Obama (and us, really)
Barack Obama is President of the United States. The inauguration was on January 20, two weeks ago. Unless you've been living under a rock, you already know this. With a blog name Poor Black Boy, I felt weird that I didn't write on the momentus occasion. I actually feel a little Obamad-out. Now, after some time and American Idol, I think i'm ready to tackle my feelings about it.
My wife currently works in a group home for girls. She is a behavioral counsellor to teenagers who have been abused or neglected and tries to teach them the skills they need to survive in 'normal' society. Many of these girls in this house are black (i could use African American but after their comments about Africans, I rather not). In the burbs, of Seattle, the great northwest, there is still a struggling low-income group of black people. Yet Obama is president.
I'm struggling with the reality I see around me and the excitement about Obama as president. I agree that this is an amazing step for the United States and there should be celebration. But Obama is one person. With a lot of power but still one person. Obama cannot in the next four years erase the damages to the black male pyche nor irradicate prejudice. I believe he is a step in the right direction but let us not give ourselves a badge for having a black president or a president who isn't Bush(shame!, yup, i said it!). I will not rejoice until i see black fathers become the norm or people who say they love diversity have that apparent in their relationships.
I am excited to see another Martin Luther King Jr , but not only as the "rock & roll superstar" or the Popular Trend of the day, but as a leader who is just a voice to a whole generation of people who are willing to sacrifice for ending injustice and prejudice. Thats it! Voting for Obama was and is not a sacrifice for the American People. I have yet to see us put "our money where our mouth is".
So I ask myself and you, what Change are we leading? What hope are we bringing? I pray Obama does all that he can. I pray we do the same as well.
My wife currently works in a group home for girls. She is a behavioral counsellor to teenagers who have been abused or neglected and tries to teach them the skills they need to survive in 'normal' society. Many of these girls in this house are black (i could use African American but after their comments about Africans, I rather not). In the burbs, of Seattle, the great northwest, there is still a struggling low-income group of black people. Yet Obama is president.
I'm struggling with the reality I see around me and the excitement about Obama as president. I agree that this is an amazing step for the United States and there should be celebration. But Obama is one person. With a lot of power but still one person. Obama cannot in the next four years erase the damages to the black male pyche nor irradicate prejudice. I believe he is a step in the right direction but let us not give ourselves a badge for having a black president or a president who isn't Bush(shame!, yup, i said it!). I will not rejoice until i see black fathers become the norm or people who say they love diversity have that apparent in their relationships.
I am excited to see another Martin Luther King Jr , but not only as the "rock & roll superstar" or the Popular Trend of the day, but as a leader who is just a voice to a whole generation of people who are willing to sacrifice for ending injustice and prejudice. Thats it! Voting for Obama was and is not a sacrifice for the American People. I have yet to see us put "our money where our mouth is".
So I ask myself and you, what Change are we leading? What hope are we bringing? I pray Obama does all that he can. I pray we do the same as well.
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