Its a couple of days left to Christmas. One of the craziest days of the year. I know I go a little loopy around this time of year. Maybe its the excessive carol singing. Or the obsession of baking like Martha Stewart. Whatever the reasons, I have often been disappointed during the Christmas season. And somewhere along the years, i realized it was more fun to blame random people for this woe...and telling them, very clearly, that they have ruined my Christmas. I think i told my sister this 40 times last Christmas...and i meant ever one.
This Christmas I find myself in an unfamiliar city, with lovely but different family members and without friends to harass and annoy. I also find myself without a job and constantly concerned about my often joyful, sometimes picky, 11 month old child. This is truly a new season and a new day. I have never had a Christmas like this before. And if there is one thing i'm not really good at, its adjusting. For all my silliness and what often appears as true randomness, I cling to routine like saran warp..and not the crappy dollar store kind either...the three dollar name brand stuff. I was feeling a bit lost before. Now i'm feeling sorta sad, sorta homesick, sorta alone.
Bless the Lord Christmas isn't all about my feelings. Could you imagine, i mean, my feelings are so out of wack sometimes you would think i do drugs, which i don't. Christmas is more than my feelings. Its more than your feelings too. Which change. Drastically if you're my sister (or me, apprently we are more alike then i like to admit). Christmas is more than my feelings. Its about Jesus (GASP, JESUS!) and how the God of all things, Holy and Wonderful came to us. Appeared on earth in a human body to change humankind forever. Amen.
I pray that this Christmas, Jesus meets you where you are, be it sad, lonely, happy, broke, etc. and moves you beyond your feelings to acknowledge what He's done for you and how you can respond. Lord, how do i need to respond? I guess i could start with getting my focus out of my own belly button and start singing along with my Mariah Carey Christmas CD. Maybe Christmas won't be ruined this year...or in the least, it won't be my sister's fault.
